Part 7 Friends.net

But there was a lot of  good coming out of all this, too.  I had a lot of great friends who gave me a lot of love and support.   And they all gave me solid advice.  Some of my women friends said take your time, find yourself again, build a new life, you have to learn to love yourself again.   And the guys really came through with ways that would help change my perspective of the situation:

                                                          

  Every one of my friends gave me solid advice on how to handle the tough situation.  Stu really had an insight into my new life.

Stu:   What the hell are you complaining for?  Don't you get it.  You're free.  You have all this freedom.   You can just go out there and do anything you want.  Anything  No discussions.  No negotiations.  No obligations.  It's your own life. Free as a bird. You can live life for you.  You're free, man, free!  Jeez, I gotta go.  I have to pick up my wife's dry cleaning before the cleaners closes.

My friend Annie was very supportive and really came through with some wise words.

Annie:    Take your time.  You don't need to rush into a relationship right away.  You need to find yourself again.  You need to be you.  I really think doing yoga would be good for you.  It would relax you.  You need to find your center.  And from that center you will find calm, tranquility--you'll be at a better place.  And from that better place, you'll be able to have a strong relationship.  You'll be able to be more giving in the relationship"

Meanwhile, my friend Al,  had a slightly different take:

Al: Go find yourself some young chick and fuck your brains out.  Listen to me  That's the best medicine for you right now. Go fuck your brains out.  I know it's hard, and you're feeling a lot of pain.  I know, I've been there.  Three times.  So listen to your buddy Al.  Find yourself a young girl with big tits and fuck your brains.  Okay?  You'll do that for your buddy Al?

Me:  Okay.

Al:  Fuck.  Your.  Brains.  Out.  Say it after me.  I...

Me  Al, please, come on...

Al:   Hey, hey...come on I want you to say it.  ...I will...

Me:  ...I will...

Al:   ... Fuck...

Me:    ... Fuck...

Al:  ...  My...

Me:      My...

Al:  ...brains out.

Me:   ... brains out.

Al:  Want me to write it down so you remember?

Me:  No, Al, thanks, really.  Now I know why you run  Human Resources.  You're really a people person.

Al:  No problem.  I got to go.  But I'll send you a text, later, to remind you.

 I don't know how I made it through that week without the love and support of my friends  There wasn't a day that would go by that  my friends didn't call.  And, Al, bless his soul was a great friend.   And even though I knew his constant barrage of "Go Fuck Your Brains Out" texts  came from the heart, it was getting a little annoying

                                               

Part 6 A Moment of Reflection

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I wobbled into the bathroom, turned on the bathroom light and stood there, staring at my reflection.  Time etched on my face.  I spoke to the man in the mirror.

Me:  Why?  Why did this happen?  There has to be some reason why I couldn't make the marriage work.

Suddenly, staring back at me was my mother,  speaking to me in that sweet, loving tone of voice that brought back all those fond memories of her fucking my head up.

Mom:  Stop feeling sorry for yourself.  There's a lot of good looking men as old as you with thinning hair that meet lots of nice women. Stand up straight.  You got to do something with that posture.  How many times I told you to sit up straight when you were at the table.  Didn't I tell you that.  Didn't I say you were going to get bad posture?  Well, Mr. Big Shot, you're posture is not so good. Didn't I tell you? What are you worried about? You have a good job.  How come your commercials  aren't as funny as they use to be?
Maybe you should get new glasses.   You know what you're problem is, you're angry, why are you so angry?  Was I that bad of a mother?   I was a good mother to you, I never once said anything mean-- are you brushing your teeth, it's a little yellow, I don't know what to do with you.  Maybe you should move near me.  Forget her.  She was a nice woman but I knew you two weren't right for each other.  You need someone to take care of you. Maybe you should move near me.  You're a bright boy. There's plenty of crazy women like you out there you can meet. You know what you're problem is?  You don't have any confidence.   Why so neurotic?  I don't understand it.  I was such a bad mother?  You know what--you aged a little.  What's the big deal, we all age. You got a lot going for you--you look thin, are you still with that crazy diet of yours? Your complexion doesn't look so good.  It's red and blotchy.    Are you using the right soap?  You always had bad complexion, ever since you were born you had problems with your face.  I just don't understand why your relationship didn't last

 Suddenly it  dawned on me.  For the last five minutes, I was listening to someone else's mother in my bathroom mirror.